Today the thrush sings atop a nearby larch that is just about to burst into new life. Last evening, as the stars filled the heavens, I listened to it again, this time down by the sea-loch, singing in trinkets. That’s my word, not the official diagnosis of thrush song. Unlike other birds, where there is a chance to follow the melody and phrasing, the thrush jumps from a whirr to a rhapsody, from clicks to trllls, and all in, what sounds to my ears like, one line of music score. I like music like that for it keeps me listening, keeps me wanting more, keeps me turning pages wondering what happens next. I like being around people like that, who fascinate with their creative agility.
Okay, park all that for now, but keep it close to hand.
Some people start to do something one way, and stick with it. I ALWAYS do it this way! they cry, not recognising the fun of variation. I always walk down this road! one that has given way to a dual carriageway, or I always loved that old beech tree! which now has fallen and will soon turn to pulp thanks to endless rains and careless landowners. These people can approach relationships the same way, with an ‘I’ and an ‘Always’ and it can cause havoc just because it refuses to bend or twist, to be creatively agile or adaptable.
At times, and when this ‘Always’ thing is in balance, it can mean wonderful things, such as always doing what you promise, or always being there when someone falls. In this state, it is a gift, a dependability, a trust. However, I would just like to poo-poo the thought that may have just popped into your head. The one that tells you, it must be either/or, always or never, This leaves trinket singing thrushes like me tweeting away on the outskirts of goodness, so, for that reason alone, it can’t be the truth.
Out of balance, the ‘Always’ person, believing, let’s say, in either/or, might look down on the rest of us, or me, anyway. Out of balance means being rigid, dogmatic,unbending. So that, if I were to suggest a deviation from whatever is planned, and if I continued to do this over long periods of time and in many areas of daily life, I might be creating a disturbance in the universe and possibly be the sole reason for climate change.
There is a third dimension to this thrush talk, and it is this. If I, a woman who changes her tune every few seconds, make the ‘Always’ person feel wrong about their way of being, then I am as rigid as they, only in a different, and might I suggest, convenient way. I say ‘convenient’ because I have noticed, that it is easy for me to be Mrs Bouncy Pants when it suits, when the song is wild in me and the day is full of thrushes, but, it is an entirely different matter when I am writing, for at this time, I am as rigid as the old beech tree that couldn’t fight the wind.
So, where do we go from here? If I am to go with my heart, and so are you and you and you, then how on earth can we manage it, and how will we ever work and walk together? It sounds like war to me. I believe firmly in listening to my own heart and hope you listen to yours too, but is my heart ‘right’? If I want to walk in empathy and gentleness with you, then it isn’t you I need to fix, but myself. Although I have no plans at all to give up my own right to be a trinket songstress, I must also honour your way. If I keep pointing out that you are wrong and I am right, then nobody wins for ‘a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still’. Besides, if everyone was like me, there would be no balance anywhere in the world. People like me need antithesis in big boots, solidly connected to terra firma.
My life has taught me many wisdoms through daily encounters with people not like me. I thought, once, that I was wrong in everything and could not understand, nor explain, why my heart said ‘jump in’ when all around me said ‘don’t’. Now I know that I do’nt have to give up on myself, for my self, in balance is perfect for me. I have my own way of doing things, of seeing things, and so do you. If there is an area upon which we both agree, then that is wonderful. But if you want to go left, and I, right, then that is what we should do, re-convening at coffee time, whereupon there is a good chance we will both have forgotten our skirmish, so caught up are we in the songs we’ve heard and the songs we’ve sung, on our different journeys.
And that is the key, if you will pardon the musical pun.