Many, perhaps most of us feel less than intrepid as we move towards a new year. How will we live from now on through financial lack, winter’s toothy bite, without a someone who lived and breathed once and does so no more, through war that threatens our own safety, security and identity, governments and public bodies that can’t agree on what to have for lunch, let alone run a whole country wisely? This, however, is how it is for all of us. So how do we turn to bravely face whatever fears and doubts gather behind us, pulling open the back door of our hearts in an attempt to subdue even an heretofore indomitable spirit?

Laughter, that’s how. If we can laugh at the days to come we are making a strong statement. We are saying You Will Not Beat Us Down, not Us. Of course we do need to plan, to communicate within a home, to agree to make changes and to accept the initial discomfort of such changes. Naturally we must say farewell to some of our previous comforts but it is critical to the human spirit that we also pull in new ways to enjoy our lives. I am crap at not enjoying my life. It’s like walking in shoes full of holes and with a flapping sole. My soul refuses to flap even if I do feel cold and lonely at times. I tell myself, again, that a thought creates a feeling which puts me firmly in the driving seat because, although I cannot control my feelings, I can control my thoughts. This morning I awoke with decidedly negative thoughts. Soon my family will leave me here on the island and if I thought I was alone before, I was much mistaken. But, says Mrs Smartarse Sensible, You are strong, always have been and just think, What if something wonderful awaits you on the other side of this mass migration? I snort but she is persistent and, dammit, she could well be right. Consciously I change my thinking, sweeping out the gloomy self-pitying ones, those with big voices and absolutely no substance, like thin porridge, and equally as unsustaining. If I select my thoughts at all times of woe is me, it may feel like hard work but it does work. I refuse to let my thoughts think me because I am in the driver seat, not they. And, if I stand true to my brilliant imagination, I can host a wonderfully happy party inside my head, one that sends warming messages to my heart and body. I feel strong again. Nothing has changed. I will still be home alone in a few days but if I decide not to let those tosser dossers in, they can have no power over me, no hold, no control.

In the short term, I will take it all in, the vast load of laughing grandchildren, my own beloved children, their voices, faces, stories shared, moments collected in the air between us and I will tuck them into my heart. I will reflect on their youth, the wild and crazy fun we had, the adventures they, and I, are yet to experience, all of those year books inside my head and I will pull on my shoes and walk my walk. I have never walked alone before. How exciting! For you, wherever you are, whatever you find tough or thin or overwhelming, I say this. Keep walking, eyes forward, hope in your heart and love on your lips because there will be something that needs saying or doing no matter your path and every new path can feel scary until it is walked. And think not of loss but of the, as yet, unseen gains that will spring up like flowers along the banks of a simpler life.

Happy New Year to you all.