I had to Google the word that stands in opposition to the word Loss. I know that Lost is versus to Found, but that didn’t help in my search. The word Lost is lighter somehow, to do with small things, like purses and ski poles, but Loss is deep and wide as space.
I hear things that make me feel loss. The more I write it, the weirder it looks. It rhymes with floss, for starters, or joss, and they aren’t called that anymore, or so I am reliably informed. So, I am facing this word and wondering if it is as tall and as wide as a redwood. I think it is. And then some. However, and unfortunately, even a thousand year old redwood is never sure of its standing in our greedy world. If someone wants a house right here, and here has an ancient, wise, redwood in the way of a tailored lawn, then in a few moments, it is dead.
The other things about Loss is that it arrives, uninvited, and settles down on the sofa looking all comfortable and cosy. Loss is about something that feels big. Huge. Massive. It could be children moving away, or a dementia/cancer sentence. Basically loss is life changing, whereas lost just means you pop onto Amazon and buy another.
Ok, so next? Well, next is vital to dealing with loss. Obviously there will be time of sadness and a sense of abandonment by all that we knew like we knew the redwood, its kindly offer of shade and protection, its arms open to house endless canopy dwellers, its wisdom and patience. And we can learn a lot from that. My whole lifetime thus far would create a skimpy ring in its bark. It has seen war and peace, ice and burning, endless nomadic tribes, big changes to the forest floor, tourists, renegades, danger and safety.
If I could see this whatever loss as just a part of the whole, how much peace would I find in that? Just wait, my gut whispers. Just wait. It may take days, or weeks, months or years, decades even, but if I wait, I will let the Next move gently and kindly in. We humans get in such a falafel about everything, costing us health and wealth, relationships and inner peace and yet we keep reacting.
So what would happen if I didn’t react by either foolish flapping or by taking knee-jerk action? I don’t yet have an answer for that, but if my life as was is about to be a very different shape and colour, what experiential wisdom can I bring to bear? None. What if I just trusted that the universe knows me better than I do and will deliver, at the right time, solutions to my sense of loss, if, indeed, over that length of time, it still feels like loss and hasn’t turned into recovery and opportunity?
Which it well may not.