These are my thinks on the aforesaid. It is a tendency of ours to focus and to rest on what was wrong, what we did wrong (if we are honest) as we reflect on the past year. Oh, we will, naturally, blame covid and isolation and limitation and deprivation, but once we are done with all that tiddelypom, we find ourselves confounded. There is nowhere else to go but to ourselves. We have this irritating thingy-whatsit inside us that whings like a drone above our thinking, looking at us from the eagle eye and in a most infuriating and revealing way. This eye sees us like we never never would wish to see ourselves.
And so. How do we walk the same terrain, for some of us pavements, for others of us, tracks and wilderness, find something about ourselves that makes us ok about who we are, or who we have been over this time of limitation, isolation and confoundment? The shouty media is all about elevation and the celebration of those who have done this elevation thing. We all admire them. They have marked our cards. They have caused us tears and smiles. But, what of we, who have just been…..we?
What I did this day, with some homework a few days before (hate homework) was this. I decided to make five points of personal success this past year. Oh, there are many more than five, but I found it interesting that that ‘five things challenge’ afforded me such disarray. I find myself easily locating my crimes, real or not but real to me. If someone challenged me to speak out the things I feel I have done well this past year, I would founder. How normal am I. I watch so may good people defect such an acknowledgement. I’m doing it too. And yet, and yet, I know what I have done. And, so do you.
My five things.
I came back from Africa so Popz wasn’t alone as he was the year before, cold and without me.
I was with him with the greatest respect and love throughout covid, and happily.
I found my words again. I had thought them lost.
I found my safe place in this home
I am learning who I am . Can ‘t say again, because I am not who I ever was.
Can you write your five things of achievement? Oh yes. You so can.