It is a funny old time of the year, unique in itself. Something about the twist of one year into the new confounds our thinking. We swivel like kids in a cartwheel from land to space and back to a land we cannot see, but trust is there. We land further on and that further on is unknown to us, in completeness, until our feet meet it, allowing us to rise into a new space. Maybe this space is known to our forebears, to our ancients, to astonished bugs and butterflies that reckoned they had safe passage until our legs thwacked into their gentle lift. We think we know our ground but the turn and twist of a new year confounds us every time. We make resolutions based on shrimps and fireflies. We know who we are. We know what we can do. What we don’t know, our longing longing is what we can achieve based on our inner shrimp. We forget the firefly.
Now, I know, as well as you do, that a firefly can be taken out by oh so many predators. But our concept of fire, of flight, of light is a very uplifting thing. We can fly if we so choose. There are many of us grounded until we feel like we are stuck, not rooting like the tree we so admire in the forest. Just. Stuck. Well let me tell you a thing from the rounded end of a long life, one lived inside more adventures than is good for anybody. If you feel stuck, unstick. I know, I know, the world, the mud, is strong. It has a voice and it has depth and thixotropy. In other words, it won’t allow any breakdown. But you are stronger. And the key is to approach everything with curiosity and as an adventure.
I’m going to do the mud thing. I/we watched a beloved heavy horse sink into a bog inside a snowstorm and on an Atlantic rock crop with no shelter. She had reached, and walked for the first shoots of green after one of our very long island winters, and foundered. The sinkmud took her. But we are not horses. We have two legs and huge brains and can swerve and swift anyway we choose, and there’s the rap (whatever that means).
We have a new year. It is coming. We can plan the impossible or stick with the possible. In other words we can plan without authority. We can sigh and throw our hands up because we feel mudstuck inside our lives. Or, and there is always an “or”, we can firefly. We can stop. We can say, No More. Even if it means things will be tough for a while. Even if we cannot have the luxuries we have heretofore enjoyed. Even then. Together we can do this change from mud to firefly. And that already sounds cheesy.
What I am saying to any soul who longs for something impossible, is this.