Please excuse my absence from this page. Although I seriously doubt that my blog is a lifeline for anyone, I do feel a bit odd when I don’t scatter my thoughts across a page to then fire it off into the ether.
Things have, in truth, been a bit diplodocus of late. A urinary tract infection has the power and the subtle and silent energy to turn a flat pancake of a time into a spiralling ball with intent. It upskittled us all, not least the one with it. However, the doctor is a wise and intuitive man, working out what the demise might mean, and it seems he was right, to a degree. Nobody can stop a dementia decline and each blow will manifest itself in that decline. The old Admiral is a frail thing now, still aware and still smiling but much quieter and much more unable to work the field independently. It is very hard to watch. It’s like bereavement, only not. The one slowly disappearing is still very visible in the room. It can go on for years. I hope not. We all hope not. Once a good quality of life morphs into existence, there really is nowhere to go. But there are wee chats, albeit mostly me ‘wee chatting’, and there are laughs when I co-ordinate wrong, or misunderstand a request, guiding him cheerily in a southerly direction when it is clear to him he was headed true north.
He has humour and acceptance. We have talked about the after life. He believes in one, as do I, although neither of us give it a name. He says he doesn’t want to leave me, and I said, well you have to go first. If it was up to me to stick a flag in new territory, we’d end up in a bog with no view and the local shop 10 miles away. He chuckled.
T’is good. For now.
Judy Fairbairns 
❤
Dear Judy…..my heart goes out to you and yours. It must be SO SO hard to watch someone disappear, especially someone who has been so vibrant and strong. My thoughts and many prayers are with you. You have done and ARE doing such a grand job of caring and the fact that you do it with humour and honesty is an inspiration to many.
🥰🥰🥰
Thank you jan x
Judy you are an inspiration! I know and feel you through your blogs. Care taking is a calling and with our loved ones so much is involved. My mother passed in February. She was my best friend and I was there to care for her during the last three years of her decline. Not an easy time….yet I miss her presence every day. Sending strength and loving thoughts to you during this difficult time.
Thank you Jodi. x
Little things like a shared chuckle can make your day, can’t they.
oh yes!!
Yes the UTI can really have an impact on one with Dementia. My Mother in law suffers from both and it is fun and games when she does. No telling how it will manifest its self each time. This week she fell out of bed for a change. No lasting damage thank fully…except to us…again. Ah what joy is lined up for us all next??/
It is a long and tough road for sure. We are so lucky to have the amount of support we do on the island. Good luck to you my friend x
I love reading your thoughts and description of life it’s ups and downs and meanderings. ❤️
Thank you x
The road is long and bumpy. People are tiring of the pandemic limitations after 5 months. Dementia is a much longer road. So much patience and adapting, so much inner strength needed
Amazing how we find it, that strength, even when we feel there is none left. x
Oh but you are a window on the world with all your observations & a light in our present suppressed world❣️I understand that your flow of words must be interrupted at times with your care of the Admiral being uppermost in your mind. Bless you & keep you on the right track 🤗
Regards & best wishes
Sheila M
Thank you Sheila x