In my work at the Best Cafe Ever, I am among young people, young with dreams and opinions and attitudes. They are all sure they can do it differently, as I did once, long ago. I listen to the chat about the whatevers in their lives, the doubts, self doubts mostly. I can hear the outpuff of frustration as they may or may not acknowledge expectations lowered over their heads, the fears and concerns of their parents, ages with my own children. I hear it all and smile as I shove yet another heavy load of dishes into the wishdosher. I say nothing. I am granny to them, old and brackish and I like that place. I can circle in the safety of the inlet whereas they are pushing hard into a new ocean. They are about to head out alone and somewhat scared. What will their idea of the world out there teach them, confound them, frighten them? Even the cafe owners don’t know of what’s ahead and how could they? We can have rain and a complete invasion. We can have sun and a complete invasion. We can have neither. This business is a risk and a beauty. We are here and where are you? Or, we are here and what on earth just brought so many of you in? This is how it is out there. And I remember it as I went to collect those who wanted to watch for whales. Sometimes a few keenists, sometimes an acre of humans I managed to cram into the back of the landrover, just hoping it would be ok for all of them to fit on the boat. I remember first taking my children to school, watching them go,, even tearful and turning back to business. I didn’t like it, but I did what I did.

I sense a different parentage now. Oh, I remember the dream talk when we were expecting our first. We will not be parents as ours were, not the harsh stuff, not the judgemental stuff, not the controlling expectations, none of that. And, I believe to a degree but not enough of one, that we did that. But there was a leak. Actually two. I was 29 with five kids and with a mother-in-law living down the track and she had a hold. I don’t blame her. I just remember how the father of our children gradually absorbed the old ways to a degree. We had such rebellious dreams, I thought. And yet, over time, I complied. I make no excuse. I was also of the old controls and recognised them. And yet I watched him be the father he never had, at times, but not all times.

Enough of that.

I smile a lot as I listen to the young women and I so want them to be able to absorb what they meet and yet to stand like an Amazon in the face of the old ways. I didn’t. I want them to be who I wasn’t, just to show me that it is possible to set out on an ocean,resting in brackish waters when needed and then to actually find a new shore.